Amy:
I also want to pass on my best wishes and prayers to you and
your family. I know this must be a very difficult time for
all of you. I, too have recently experienced a family
crisis. Just as you mentioned, I'm not sharing my story to
gain sympathy from the group, but only to explain how I am
trying to cope through difficult times with a disease that
seems to worsen under stress. I was diagnosed with TM only
9 weeks ago. My significant other and I were already trying
to work through some "issues" in our relationship. I think
the intensity of my TM was too much strain on an already
strained relationship. Just this past Monday, he has
decided to part from our family (We have a two-year old
daughter). Although the emotional pain is incredible, like
Steve, I have learned how to endure stressful times with
this disease. Due to the emotional strain of this recent
break-up, I've had increased discomfort with my symptoms and
it would be really easy to feel sorry for myself given all
I've been through. But I've decided to be strong for me,
and more importantly, my daughter who needs me so much.
(Not that I don't have moments where I want to completely
fall apart!) Please hang in there. You and your husband's
strength give me the will to hang in there, too. I will pray
for your daughter's quick return.
--------------------------------------
Date: 8/1/97 3:02 AM
To: wbartelli
From: tmic-list(AT)eskimo.com
Amy:
I'm so sorry to hear your daughter is missing. If you think
she might be in
the Atlanta area, let me know and I'll get the word out
around here, too.
Just being 16 is stressful enough, I recall, without any
additional stumbling
blocks. Please remind Steve that her taking off could have
as much to do with
being 16 as with anything else. I know there's not much
else I can say but
that my thoughts and prayers are with you.
On the subject of keeping your mind busy.... That's the
best advice for all
of us. I have a job that keeps my mind working constantly
and my hobbies take
care of any other time I might spend moping otherwise. I
know from long term
experience that keeping active makes you feel better --
especially when you
are accomplishing something. I hope Steve throws all his
mental efforts into
coming up with ideas to locate your daughter and that he can
use the piano to
play away those nagging worries that he doesn't want to
voice.
Please keep us informed about your daughter and let us all
know if there's
anything we can do to help locate her. We'll do anything we
can think of.
Afterall, that's something else we can do to keep our minds
busy....
----------
From: Amy Thropp
Sent: Thursday, July 31, 1997 8:53 AM
To: tmic-list(AT)eskimo.com
Subject: Re: Bill's question/Julienne's response
Speaking as the significant other to Steve who is the one
with TM, it can be
very difficult to watch your spouse suffer and be helpless
to change
anything, but I have learned that I can survive just about
anything and this
bout we are having with TM is just another step in life. I
am going to
share something with all of you that has caused us great
pain and has
contributed to Steve's suffering more than TM ever could.
Our 16 year old daughter ran away from home 3 weeks ago and
we have no idea
where she is. I don't tell you this to gain sympathy (but
any prayers on
Rachel's behalf wouldn't hurt). I just want to remind
people about the
effects of stress on TM and how it is possible to cope even
with the most
difficult of times. Steve has been steadily recovering,
although slowly.
You can review some of my previous posts to see his
progress. This episode
should have set him back tremendously, but he is so focused
on getting
Rachel home and keeping up our strength for our son who is
only 8 and has
been away for the summer and doesn't know yet that his
sister is gone. It
has been a nightmare for us, and yet, Steve hasn't had a
significant
increase in symptoms or problems related to his TM, although
I do see him
wince or grab his side when it starts spasming, but it
doesn't seem to be
any more than usual.
I guess that when it comes down to it, everyone with TM or a
chronic disease
like it should really try to put their energies into
something that
completely absorbs them. It's amazing how you can put aside
your bodily
symptoms by intensely focusing your mind on something else.
I know this
sounds crazy, but if anything good could come out of
Rachel's leaving, it is
that Steve found out how to cope with his disease. Now he
is focusing on
work, our son, his music (he plays the piano) and our life
going forward and
he still slowly continues to improve. He's coming up on the
1 year
aniversary of his TM attack and I have to say that he is
significantly better.
We are all stronger than we give ourselves credit for. Keep
the faith, folks.
Amy