Your letter brought tears to my eyes. My last posting was 3/27/97 which
covered all the bases about "where I'm at." Barbara responded to my
concerns about "the little ones."
I'm convinced that it is easier for small children to deal with parental
illness then adolescents and adults. My son is 21, but I would not really
describe him as an adult. Mind you, I am taking about an active duty Marine!
I was diagnosed in Aug. and my son went AU(unauthorized absense) in Nov. He
told me it was because of stress in his squadron. I personally talked to
his psyc. and his CO. It was a very confussing story and very unusual
behavior on my son's part. I have since learned that he applied for
emergency family leave and was denied. He was denied because I was able to
continue working. He invented a situation, in my opinion, so he felt
justified in leaving base. His father absolutely freaked out. Seriously,
he wouldn't even talk to his only child. Until recently, very recently, I
thought that the stress problems my son was having was due to military life.
Now, I question that. The relationship I've been previlaged to have with my
son has been very close, but I feel that the combination of military
training and TM has lessened the bonds, so to speak.
Believe me 1996 is not a year I would like to "slide" back into. Job wise,
it's been great, family wise it's been hell.
Beth: 15 is difficult no matter what! Reassurement of your love is what she
needs. She will find her own way if you let her. I firmly belive that
being honest with your child is the only way to go. If you feel bad when
she calls, tell her! If you're having a great day, or something positive
happened, tell her!
Dealing with family members is torture in itself! We chose our friends, not
our relatives. Being the peacemaker sounds like something Madeline Albright
should be doing!
Even she is having trouble dealing, so don't get down on youself for not
making "everyone happy." You can't.
Basically, Beth, I wanted you to know that you are not alone dealing with
children and family. Sometimes, I just want to scream at them all and say,
"You have no idea what pain really is." But, what good would that do,
except make me feel good for a second.
I'd rather feel good knowing that I'm doing the best I can. If I forget a
birthday etc. they had better understand that getting the blue socks with
the blue pants is a "big deal"in my life.
Chins up, you all.
Donna