As a single woman who has been mostly unattached in the five years since I
got TM (and before, actually), I can highly recommend stimulating the
largest sex organ--the brain. Maybe you and your husband could enhance
your feelings by extensive verbal foreplay, talking about a fantasy or
romantic scenario that you enjoy and even imaging the feelings and
sensations you want strongly in your head.
I have a very vivid imagination ;-).
Another possibility is a form of Chinese chi gong/sexual activity. The man
kind of rechannels his orgasmic energy up through his spinal cord and then
out his heart chakra into the woman's heart chakra, where it makes a loop
through her genital area and then up her spinal cord and back to the man.
The energy might make an additional figure 8 or two, but diminishes. The
man does this rechanneling in lieu of having an orgasm. The couple then
hangs out, cuddles, talks, etc., while the man calms down, and then they
reengage in sexual activity.
I went to a workshop on this about 4 years ago (spiritual sexuality), and I
think there are at least a couple of books on it. The major benefits are
that a couple can have sex for two or three hours if they want, it makes
the couple closer (or can also accentuate problems), the man isn't
enervated and can have sex as often as he wants (particularly useful as men
age), and the woman has more stimulation and can have an orgasm more easily
or more often. In your case, Debbie, this could be used with
verbal/fantasy/brain work. The other possible benefit for you, Debbie, is
that the energy rechanneling that the man does with his orgasmic energy
might stimulate "circuitry" other than the central nervous system, as the
Chinese claim that acupuncture/chi gong, etc. don't work necessarily
through the nerves, but a different network.
Aurore
ableck(AT)nas.edu