[TMIC] Y19 Approaching

Steve (beary(AT)midwest.net)
Wed, 26 May 1999 00:24:43 -0500

Hi, my name is steve and im 38 and was hit with this heart crushing
thing W A Y back on Oct 31, 1980, yep you call it trick or treat? My
beutiful daughter had just been born 4 monthes before. I cant really
tell ya how being away from her felt, not being able to hold her and
play with her like healthy dads can, but I had good parents and a caring
wwife at the time. Lets see I had all the basics, over night loss off
feeling and movement, soon was nothing from the chest down, was in 3
hospitals took pills of all sorts, rehab and got to where I could walk
slowly and very unsecurely for years, but with the help of my little
girl I held on and she accepted me as I was cuz she never seen me any
other way. But she has stood by me all this way her and I, to this day
she's a bright young women, will be 19 in june and still cleans the
house for me and helps me in more ways than she will ever know. I think
now since I've put on some weight that im going back in time. I fall
more and get worn out quickly, I have sometimes great pain from lower
back to the back of my knees, and every 6wks I go and have fluid drained
out of my knee from the constant locking it to stand. I have spazams out
of this world, as I set here my right leg is pulling and shaking, and I
beat on them alot not that it helps any but in the mind I guess a
little. My feeling from waist down is not normal at all and is very
hyper reflex. I have to watch anything or one from touching my legs , as
it would set of a sudden knee fold. Now I dont want to put a long term
thought in anyones head, that was just me and we're all diff. Just trust
in your fam and friends and most of all God! Use what ya have and dont
let others feel bad if you have to have a little help along the way, cuz
they have no idea what your feeling at all, and wont unless they go
through the same thing, so keep a smile on even if it takes all your
strenth that day and keep looking for a better way thats just around
that bend. I get very sad when I see al the new post here, its like
living my time all over again sometimes word for word, God bless you all
and hang in there. Steve.