Hi Mandy, yes we have unpredictable illness. I have been driving with my
left foot for eighteen years. I drive an automatic trans. and brake with
my left foot. The only problem i have had was with a motorhome about ten
years when a light turned red on the car in front of me and grabbed for
the brake with my right foot, I just barely made it.
Have you noticed an improvemet if you rest your legs more. A doctor told
me after I had a couple of bad falls that my legs did not recover
strength as fast as before TM. He said the recovery time could be four
or five times as long. I overdid it swimming last week and all this week
I can hardly get my right leg to move and when I stand it burns and
stings sometimes very bad.
Before giving up on it see if you can modify some of your activity untl
you find a level that do'es not over work your legs. I am sure sorry for
the bad fall. I have a three wheeled walker and crutches. I don't trust
my legs as they can drop me with out notice.
I agree that this all for the birds, we just have take time to listen to
them singing. When things get bad I remind my wife that it has been that
way before so we wait and try not to get on each others nerves.
Keep smiling even if ti is thrugh your tears. Remember we only have one
day at a time and this to shall pass.
God Bless you,
Love Ken,
--WebTV-Mail-337311064-9265
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Date: Fri, 07 May 1999 23:17:33 -0400
From: Mandy Feka <5yearitch(AT)ozline.net>
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Subject: [TMIC] (TMIC)Need to let it out..
Hi everyone, Haven't felt much like talking about this.Not sure that I
do right now, but I need to let off some pressure. I have been having
some very serious problems, and I have been avoiding the list, because
it has been hard for me to deal with a conversation about TM period. I
Have been having problems for about 7 months. Initially, my right leg
would burn really bad when I walked, and want to drag in it's response
time. That went on for about a month, and then it burned all the time,
and got tired faster. I continued to do all of my daily chores, and
running around,driving my son to and from school every day, thinking "I
am going to out run this leg thing." In reality, I was trying to put it
out of my mind, because I was scared. I continued to have these problems
until the beginning of January. Then I started having places on my leg
that I couldn't feel. My leg didn't hurt me until the middle of
February, when I started to get spasms in it, like the ones I get in my
back. The muscles would try to turn to stone sometimes, and it would
make me cry. It wasn't every day, so I just would give it a break if it
was particularly grouchy. Meanwhile, I kept up my chores and
responsibilities and continued to drive my son. All of this stayed
pretty much the way I've told you until I got the Flu. Or what I thought
was the flu. The first night I had this "flu" my back was really hurting
me, and I asked my mom for a pain pill. As most of you know, I
can't/don't take meds, and was embarrassed that I was being such a wimp.
So, i tried to go a couple of days and just "buck up and be a big girl".
The first day, I ended up in bed by noon. The second day, i asked for a
pain pill by 10 am. I have had all of these same things since the last
week of february, only two weeks ago, I was driving to the school to
pick up my son, and when I went to hit the brake, my foot didn't move.
It wouldn't get off of the gas. I hit the brake with my left foot, and
didn't hit anything. I was/am terrified. It came back within about two
minutes, and was acting normally. I was afraid, but went to get him, and
went home. I was blown away, and scared. I didn't say anything to
anyone, I would just tell them that my leg was "giving me trouble." On
the way home from school one day, I had to drive on the curb around
someone, because my leg went dead again. It wouldn't do anything. I
almost hit two cars, and a tree. I stopped with my left foot again, and
put it in park, and cried. Furiously. My son, who is five, didn't say a
word. He just sat there. We were less than a mile from home, so I took
my right foot off of everything, covered the brake with my left foot,
put it in drive, and coasted home at 10 mph. When we got to our house,
my son said,"mommy, I don't ever want to drive with you again. We almost
hit something." I sent him in the house for a snack and cartoons, and I
cried in my van. I said good bye to it, and my driving, and I got out of
it. I haven't gotten behind the wheel since. I told my mother what had
happened to my leg. I didn't tell her what happened, only that I
couldn't drive because my leg was losing feeling. I told her that I was
going to need help getting my son to school. I kept blake home from
school for three days. I said that he had a fever. He didn't, I was
paralyzed with fear, and didn't know how to ask for help without them
knowing that it was serious. I didn't want to scare them too. I got the
help that I needed from my sister and my dad taking him to school and
home, and everyone was supportive and encouraging in every possible
manner. I have been staying at home since, and was having these "leg
blinks" once a day or so, and in the course of a week, I had fallen at
least twice while I was walking because my leg went dead. Mid stride, it
wouldn't budge, or wouldn't hold me up when I stepped on it, and had no
feeling. i fell this week at home with Blake. I hurt my back and neck,
and my hip and knee(same leg). My dad called an ambulance. They said
that I didn't break anything, that I tore some muscles and tendons in my
knee and hip, and sprained my back, mild concussion. When I told the Dr.
what my leg was doing, he was very nice, and understood what I was
telling him. He offered me Baclofen, and Vicodin, and told me to stay on
bed rest until I could see the Dr. that he was referring me to. He said
that if I had to get up and move around, he suggested a wheel chair. I
have been in this stupid chair every since. I try to get up and walk
around a little with the cane, but it still huts a bit, and the right
leg isn't co-operating 80% of the time now. I went to the referral dr.
he was an orthopedic surgeon. I told him what had happened, and what led
up to it. I told him that I was afraid. I told him that I had no ins.,no
money, and no doctor. And that I couldn't get anyone to see me. He told
me that this sounded more like MS than TM. I explained to him that the
diagnosing doc said that MS was a possibility that he couldn't rule out.
And that it may be an issue in the future. He told me that he thought
that it was, and that the only advice he had for me was to find a
teaching hospital that would take me, because they liked to learn about
cases like mine. I was horrified. I am not a case, I'm a damn person.
And I'm in pain, almost paralyzed in my right leg, and still don't know
what the hell is going on. I am shaking so bad that I can't hold a cup !
I'm furious, and confused, and terrified. I need to stop talking now. I
can't get too upset, cause I get spasms. MOM,DAD,ANITA, I'm sorry you
had to hear all of this here, I know that you read everyday. I don't
know how to say how I'm feeling,but I decided to sit down here and try
to type it, and I guess I did. Sorry for the longer than allowed post,
this is a horrible time for me, and i thought that you people would have
some understanding of how I felt. Thank you, Mandy
--WebTV-Mail-337311064-9265--