You need immediate, emotional help. Your note was the right
start, even for your family.
I cannot deal with serious issues at the moment, so let me
address an easy one.
Errol is quite correct. An automatic transmission car
solves all but one driving problem (letting off the gas.) A
hand throttle takes care of that. We had not owned an
automatic since our '52 Chevy, but we do now, and I do
almost all of our driving. You may find financial assistance
available for the hand throttle.
Alton