[TMIC] Disabillity problems
PUMKINTOWN(AT)aol.com
Wed, 14 Apr 1999 12:42:08 EDT
Hello Everyone,
I never really posted my entire story and after reading the new newsletter it
has inspired me to write and maybe get some answers to some problems I am
facing.
First I would like to tell everyone how wonderful I feel after reading
peoples stories about their infliction's. It really makes me feel like I am
not the only person with all of these weird feelings that are so hard for me
to put into words.
I became ill on 7/25/98. I was at work and had a burning sensation in my
nose just below my eye. It was around lunch and the entire office staff was
out except our receptionist. I laid my head on my desk and closed my office
door, thinking it was just stress. I had to finish writing the narrative for
our financial statements that day and was running a tiny bit behind schedule.
Within a few minutes I thought I was in trouble so I went into the lobby and
sat in a chair and told the receptionist I was ill and was going to just
rest. I was awoken about 15 minutes later by a coworker. She took me
immediately to my primary health provider. She is a very good family
practitioner, but is not a neurologist and she thought I was having a stress
induced migraine. I was not it pain except for the burning in my nose, yet
my left eye and mouth were drooping and my left leg was not responding as
well as I thought it should. It felt like it was weighted down or something.
My balance was a little off also. She told me to take ibuprofen and return
to work. We had a board meeting that afternoon and I felt it was important
that I be there. I felt very fatigued, but made it through the meeting and
went home and rested. I went to work the next 2 days and continued as if
nothing had happened. I really only felt a little tired and like everyone
else could explain this away with many excuses. On Saturday morning while
making my daughters bed up, I noticed the pain in my nose returning and
really hurting a lot this time. Within 2 hours I could not walk. I was not
numb or anything I just couldn't support myself at all and would fall to the
left all the time. I went to the ER in Greenville, SC and was given a CAT
Scan. The ER doc told us he was looking for a brain tumor. Boy I was so
scared. Well, the test showed nothing. They had ruled out a stroke because
I was effected on the left side of my face and the left side of my body.
Well, they did a lot of blood work and found a very low B12 count and then a
neuro was called in. He admitted me and said that he would schedule some
tests for Monday. (I guess they only have ER staff on weekends) On Monday I
received an MRI and it did not show much. He said he saw smoke but no fire
in my C2 area and told me if I didn't get worse I could go home the next day.
By the next morning, I told him I felt like my right leg up to my buttocks
was falling asleep yet I offered the excuse that I was in that bed for 3 days
and it would probably go away. I was given some PT to show me how to walk
with a walker with no wheels and sent home. I was only home about 16 hours
and I was numb all the way up to my T6 area. Back to the ER we went. They
put me into critical care. I was really scared then and told them that I
wasn't dying and I could be placed in a regular care unit. They were not
impressed by this and refused to move me. A different neuro came to see me
and he used the wonderful pin prick exam. It wasn't to bad on my back and
legs, but the old lets see how numb her sphincter muscle is was the pits.
The right side had and still has no feeling, but the left hurt like #*#*. He
proceeded to give me some adavan (I think that is what they called it) and
sent me for another MRI of the spine and neck. It also showed only smoke. I
have always been a cheap date, so to speak with drugs and such so I do not
even remember the next 36 hours of my life. From what I have been told, I
received a multitude of tests. All of these tests I had signed a release
for, yet do not remember doing it. The lumbar puncture showed normal cells
and no banding of protein. MS was ruled out. I still had my reflexes, so GBS
was ruled out. I found all of this so frustrating. They told me that I
should be happy because I did not have AIDS, or syphilis, which I would never
have even suspected I had. I had signed all of these releases so the tests
were done. I was very angry. I stayed in the hospital for another week and
was given only 4 days of solumedrol, 500 mg IV push every 12 hours, and my
blood sugar rose to 410 and even with insulin would not come down. They
turned off the steroids. I went through an awful withdrawal and am sure I
was a real b**** for the next couple of days. I felt so bad and could not
use either of my legs by now. I could use the bathroom if I could get to it
and had not been shown how to do that, so my wonderful husband would help me
do everything. On a Thursday the jerk neuro I was seeing then came in and
told me I was going home. He said that what I needed was a good psychiatrist
and that I had done this to myself because I smoke cigarettes and if I gave
up smoking and took B12 shots I should have nothing to complain about. It
was so devastating. My husband took me home and I went right to bed. I was
still going through the withdrawal so all I did was sleep. The next morning
he woke me up and got me into the car and drove me to Atlanta to the Emery
Clinic. I saw a doctor their named Dr. Hopkins. He was wonderful. He
looked at all my MRI's and test results and told me I had TM. He drew on a
napkin where in my brain and spine I was effected and spent a lot of time
explaining all he knew and he really calmed so many of my fears. I found a
great neuro in Greenville now and also see a rehab doctor. These men have
made me feel very comfortable talking to them about anything and I really
treasure their expertise. I am able to walk now unassisted for short periods
and can drive again. It took about 4 months for my vision to return and now
it seems to be OK. I want to return to work so bad. I am not sure if I have
the stamina and all that is needed, but I want to try. I have had a few job
offers and now I have a problem with my disability carrier. They claim if I
go back to work full time as an accountant they consider me no longer
disabled and my coverage ceases. I don't want them to pay me while I work,
but I really don't know if I will have the stamina to complete all my tasks.
I believe I can, but that little doubt bubble is still in my mind. As an
accountant I have a lot deadlines that must be met. I have never had a
problem meeting them before, but as we all know TM does change out lives.
Has anyone else tried a return to work and did you buy your own disability
policy or how did you handle this situation. My doctor told me I could have
work release, yet he warned me not to be over positive. I have been told
that my positive attitude has helped me through this. If they ever knew how
much I have cried while I am alone, or the horrible thoughts I have had. I
guess I have rambled on enough now. Thanks for listening and I would
appreciate any information anyone has about disability insurance. I have
talked to my carrier (UNUM) and they keep giving me all different answers. I
have not been able to get a copy of my policy from them, all I have had is
the employee book. Today they finally agreed to send me a copy, then I can
read for myself what I am entitled to, yet insurance lingo along with writing
are not my best qualities. I am a numbers lady all the way. Thanks again.
Lori