Re: spousal support

ann lindstrom (allindstrom(AT)hotmail.com)
Wed, 31 Mar 1999 09:50:48 PST

Alton - Thanks for talking about how great your wife has been. I too
intend no pain to others who are less fortunate, but my husband has been
great too. Although I never loss control of bladder or bowl, I was
pretty helpless for a number of months, and still cannot do alot of the
stuff that I used to. One of the great things he does is to get me
laughing when things get rough. In the hospital I couldn't feed myself,
so he would feed me. He would intentionally try to feed me things he
knows I hate (peas, for instance) to tease me and start me chuckling. I
have gained alot of weight (arrghhh) since this all started, and he
doesn't nag or give me a bad time. He is supportive in my attempts to
lose the weight.
Brian, (my hubbie), has some clogged arteries, which because of their
location can not be treated by surgery or angioplasty. He has had a few
bouts in the hospital in the last few years, so I have been able to
somewhat pay him back with love and care. So here we are, I am tingling
and numb. He is short of breath. We both tire easily. He is trying to
quit smoking. I am trying to lose weight. We both work full time at
demanding jobs (though I can work from home). We still laugh alot. I
wouldn't trade him for anything! Ann

----Original Message Follows----
From: Alton <A.Ryder(AT)ix.netcom.com>
Reply-To: A.Ryder(AT)ix.netcom.com
To: tmic-list <tmic-list(AT)eskimo.com>
CC: Peter at home <PRyder(AT)ix.netcom.com>, Eric Ryder
<eryder(AT)totalnetnh.net>,"Godbout, James" <ME-262(AT)ix.netcom.com>
Subject: spousal support
Date: Mon, 29 Mar 1999 10:08:36 -0500
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I'm ready to carve a piece of granite with my
fingernails or do something else as difficult to
show my appreciation for my wife. I have before
stated my appreciation for her support during this
malady, but the recent sharing of tales of less
spousal support has heightened my gratitude.

When I first came home from the hospital, I had
neither the strength nor the flexibility to attend
to my own needs. I was in bed, in diapers, and
wearing a Texas catheter. All of which needed
frequent changes. I could recognize an impending
bowel movement, but I could not resist it. I
remember Betty answering my call in the middle of
the night to come attend to the bedpan and to
clean me afterward. I wonder if I could have been
so uncomplaining if she were the one who was ill.

Even now, almost two years later, her support and
her willingness have not diminished. Thankfully,
the need for such support has almost gone away.

I am so lucky to have married her.

Alton, who intends no hurt to those less fortunate

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