I hope you can heal the relationship
with your husband; you are correct in
making that your first priority. Any
significant disability will strain our
local bonds. I was lucky; Betty and I are
closer and in better harmony now than
before, in part because of improvements
in me, in large part because of her
intrinsic nature of forgiveness and support.
If you do not attain a better and permanent
relationship, it may not be your failure;
several people on this list lost their
spouses because of TM. Independently, many
marriages fail without the excuse of TM.
I don't know your circumstances, but let
me share one of the paradigms I learned
during my rehab. "If my spouse wants
to make a certain decision, and that
decision will not significantly impact
me, then it is none of my business." I
came to this paradigm while listening to
my room mate in rehab; he verbally abused
his wife in a way that was obvious and
repulsive to me on the other side of the
curtain; then one day I realized that I
normally did exactly what he was doing!
I figured out that this paradigm would
prevent/stop this abuse and [gradually]
put a stop to my own misbehavior. It
worked. I now grant my wife much more
freedom in her decisions of daily living,
and occasionally suggest the paradigm to
her to gain less intrusion in my life.
The only downside is that I now do some
stupid things that she could have helped
me avoid. ;-)
Alton, happy as a clam after 43 years of
marriage. No, everything is not perfect,
but I don't need perfection to be happy.