Re: incontinence
WREZN8R(AT)aol.com
Sat, 6 Mar 1999 14:40:35 EST
Hi everyone, I'm glad the subject of "trying to achieve" has come up. It
finally hit my sister & I right between the eyes, that we have enabled my
brother, Greg to be a helpless, handicapped person. When we are with him, he
doesn't try to do anything for himself...for instance, he is perfectly happy
to let everyone else go into his purse that he carries on his wheelchair
instead of figuring out a way to open the zipper himself. When we confronted
him with this, he says he "can't" and only wants to walk. I finally had to
come down hard on him last week & told him that even if he gets to walking, he
won't even be able to figure out a way to grip his car keys, much less drive a
car. I had to tell him if it was OK for him to have that attitude then why
should we bother. We told him to practice a task a week...such as pulling off
his sweat pants by himself. This way, when he would complain that he wasn't
getting any better, we could point out that he was indeed learning new skills
every week. Mind you, Greg wouldn't do OT in the hospital such as making
brownies, cooking, playing board games, because he wanted to practice getting
his legs going.
We know his healing has to come from within, but we are not going to enable
him to be helpless anymore. Tough love. He just doesn't get it. He thinks
we're so mean. Since I have 4 teenagers, I've had enough practice at this. I
gave him back his checkbook & bills this week also. He can write with a hook.
He says he'll find someone else to do it. I told him that it would be someone
that wouldn't care if he was independent. Now remember, my son has been taking
Greg into work every day & he has plenty of money.
I'm curious what you guys think. Christi