I am so sorry for what you are going through. Please know that you are not
alone. I would agree that you can use the anger, if you do not let it overwhelm
you. I am glad, ironically, to hear that your response is anger...that means you
are not letting these people (who are the hysterical ones, if you ask me) take
away your sense of faith in yourself. Keep it up. I wish I could help more...all
I can say is to keep fighting this. You are right, you are right. And you have
every right for every emotuion you are feeling. There are few experience in life
this difficult, and you are handling yourself very well.
We love you, and we believe in you, Jenny
Mykella
Jennapause(AT)aol.com wrote:
> Hello everyone,
> I am writing to give everyone an update on what has been going on, and to also
> once again burden you for your opinion once again.
>
> Yesterday I recieved a phone call from the secretary of the Rhuematologist
> that had initially sent me to see the nueromuscular specialist in vermont.
> (someone had asked me where I lived in Vermont? I live across the lake from
> Vermont outside of Plattsburgh NY. It is a two hour drive taking the Ferry
> across the lake to go to Vermont.)
>
> Well apparrently she scheduled another test for me without me seeing her, or
> even letting me know that she was going to. I told her that I was humiliated
> enough the first time that she had sent me there, and that I did not need to
> be again. I gave her a brief discription of what happened and she told me
> that she would have the doctor call me.
> So indeed she did. She told me that initially the blood work that she had
> done that my neurologist had sent me to see her to make sure that there where
> no connective disorder diseases had come back negatve, and that she had wanted
> me to get the test done to make certain that i did not have this or that. I
> asked her if she had also asked him for his opinion on my mental ability as
> well, and if she he known that he was quailified to make a diagnosis of
> hysteria based on his background.
> She was tongue tied for a moment, but quickly retaliated, and was very abrupt
> with me.
> I told her that aparently someone asked for his opinion, and now thanks to him
> I am the one that has to face his ugly diagnosis everyday and he no longer has
> to think about it.
> I also told her that I have TM and asked her if she had ever treated anyone
> with this disease. She said that she had, but only in relation to lupus.
> Then she said that she wanted me to have this other test done that she had
> scheduled me for, it is next week. an SEG test.
> The reason that she wanted me to have this test is to see if I have any bone
> cancer. Well I had been taking a much needed rest at the time, and was in bed
> so I did not have any information sitting by my bedside available to me about
> the test. I am thinking that this test is a sensory evoked potential test,
> and that I am not aware of any one having it done to see if they have bone
> cancer?
> Could someone enlighten me about this?
> I was trying to be very strong about this although it was hard, but i was
> thinking about everyone on this group and felt that i had all your strength
> behind me.
> She insists that this test is for only this reason, and that I need to have it
> done. I told her that the doctor wanted me to have this test to put to rest
> the notion that i had anything wrong with me, not to rule out any disease. I
> could not be humiliated like that again.
> I spoke to her for a long time, and she told me she was going to call me
> again today to further discuss this situation, and i told her, ok/
> It was 6 pm when i spoke with her, and immediately after i called my neuro,
> and left a message on his service to call me immediately when he returned
> phone calls.
> I want to fill him in on this, and see what he says.
> I need your input about this, and to know what you think.
> I tried to speak to my husband about it. He just asked me what I was afraid
> of, and why I was making such a big deal about it.
> I am not afraid, I am so angry that I could just explode over the entire
> situation, but he does not understand why I would be. I guess I wanted some
> input from the ones that do.
>
> Thanks ever so much
> much love
> Jenny