The following are the top four winners
The results of a Most Embarrassing Moments Contest in the "New
Woman Magazine".
1.) While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to
grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance
from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start
behaving "right now", she would be punished. To my horror, she
looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If
you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening
after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what
they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked
out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard
when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter ...
Amy Richardson; Stafford, Virginia
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2.) It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at
home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my
girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after
making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested
to my girlfriend that I give her a piggyback ride to the phone.
Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get
dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights
suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled, "SURPRISE!!!"
My entire family, aunts, uncles, Grandparents, cousins and all my
friends were standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen in a
state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity.
Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party again
Tim Cahill; Poughkeepsie, New York
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3.) One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've come
upon in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items
at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she
learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her
embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out
for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX,
SUPERSIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the
store apparently misunderstood the word "tampax" for "THUMBTACKS."
In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom.
"DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU
POUND IN WITH A HAMMER ???"
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4.) A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class
was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying
attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was
quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been
circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him go down
to the principal's office, he was to phone his mother, and ask her
what he should do about it. He did it and he returned to the
classroom, where he sat down in his seat. Suddenly, there was a
commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate
only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out.
"I thought I told you to call your mom." she screamed. "I did," he
said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon,
she'd come and pick me up from school ..."