How do crazy people go through the forest?
- They take the psycho path.
What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
- Dam!
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
- Polaroids.
What do prisoners use to call each other?
- Cell phones.
What do the letters D.N.A. stand for?
- National Dyslexics Association.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
- A stick.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
- Nacho Cheese.
What do you call Santa's helpers?
- Subordinate Clauses.
What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
- Quatro sinko.
What do you get from a pampered cow?
- Spoiled milk.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
- Frostbite.
What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
- A pool table.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
- A nervous wreck.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
- Right where you left him.
Where do you get virgin wool from?
- Ugly sheep.
Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
- They all have phones.
Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
- They're trying to get away from the noise.
What is a zebra?
- 25 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie?
- A dog that runs for help. . .after it bites your leg off.
What does it mean when the flag is at half mast at the post office?
- They're hiring.
What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
- Sanka.
:-)