A little humor to lighten up y'all's day....:>)
Robert and Marabeth (74541.2151(AT)compuserve.com)
Sun, 21 Feb 1999 16:58:15 -0500
The Best T-Shirts of 1999...!!!
>
>"Filthy Stinking Rich -- Well, Two Out of Three Ain't Bad" -
>
>"Real Men Don't Waste Their Hormones Growing Hair" --
>
>"I Speak Fluent Patriarchy But It's Not My Mother Tongue" --
>
>"I Used Up All My Sick Days So I Called In Dead" --
>
>"Husband and Cat Lost -- Reward for Cat" --
>
>"Be Nice to Your Children -- They'll Pick Your Nursing Home"
>
>"Husbands Should Come With Instructions" --
>
>"Upon the Advice of My Attorney, My Shirt Bears No Message
>at This Time" -
>
>"Even If You Lead a Good Life, Go to Church and Say Your
>Prayers, You'll Still Go to St. Louis When You Die" --
>
>"I Want It All and I Want It Delivered" -- Carol Turnage, of
>Fairfax.
>
>"Life Is Hard; Then You Nap" --
>
>"Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam" -- seen on Cape Cod;
>
>"Bigamy Is Having One Wife Too Many. Monogamy Is the Same"
>
>"I'm Not Suddenly a Dirty Old Man -- I've Been Practicing
>Since 1943" --
>
>"Happiness Is Seeing Your Mother-in-Law on a Milk Carton" --
>
>"Just Give Me Chocolate and Nobody Gets Hurt" --
>
>"Learn from Your Parents' Mistakes - Use Birth Control" -
>
>"60-Year-Old One Owner Needs Parts Make Offer" --
>
>"I Was Once a Millionaire But My Mom Gave Away My Baseball
>Cards" -
>
>"If God Had Wanted Me to Touch My Toes, He Would Have Put
>Them on My Knees" --
>
>"If You Can Read This, Thank a Teecher" --
>
>"A Nest Isn't Empty Until All Their Stuff Is Out of the
>Attic" --
>
>"That's It! I'm Calling Grandma!" --
>
>"Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I
>Grew Up" --
>
>"My Designated Driver Drove Me to Drink" --
>
>"I Yell Because I Care" --
>
>"If You Remember the '60s, You Weren't Really There" --
>
>"Procrastinate Now" --
>
>"Rehab Is for Quitters" --
>
>"Re-Elect Nobody" --
>
>(Across a drawing of a skeleton) "Waiting for the Perfect
>Man" -
>
>"My Husband and I Married for Better or Worse -- He Couldn't
>Do Better and I Couldn't Do Worse" --
>
>"My Dog Can Lick Anyone" --
>
>"I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts -- Do You Want Fries With
>That?" --
>
>"When the Going Gets Tough, Use Duct Tape" --
>
>"Sleep with a Photographer and Watch Things Develop" --
>
>"Young at Heart -- Slightly Older in Other Places" --
>
>(Over a sketch of the Titanic) "The Boat Sank. Get Over It"
>
>"I Didn't Drive My Husband Crazy -- I Flew Him There -- It
>Was Faster" --
>
>"Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large
>Groups" --
>
>(On a baby-size shirt) "Party -- My Crib -- Two A.M." --
>
>"I Don't Suffer from Insanity -- I'm a Carrier" --
>
>"Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been
>Doing Since I Was 15" --
>
>"El Nino Made Me Do It" --
>
>"The More I Learn About Women, the More I Love My Car" --
>
>"Aunt Em: Hate You. Hate Kansas. Taking the Dog. Dorothy"