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From: "CarriR" <leokitty(AT)worldnet.att.net>
To: "TMer's" <tmic-list(AT)eskimo.com>
Subject: not so good day
Date: Tue, 16 Feb 1999 16:47:27 -0800
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Today was not a good day. I tried to be brave, face new challenges, but
=
I was left feeling scared and helpless.=20
I went to work today (I work with pregnant/parenting teenagers - case =
management and parenting classes) and prepared myself to take a client =
and her 1 yr old to an appointment. This was a new challenge as I have =
not done this since my injury. The appointment was not planned, but was
=
definitely necessary.=20
When I first went back to work part-time, I was told it would be best to
=
start off in the office. I did not argue with this because I had just =
received my hand controls the week before and did not drive with anyone
=
in my car, except my driving instructor for 1 hr. Anyways, I have come =
to be very comfortable with the hand controls and feel as if I can drive
=
pretty much like anyone else.=20
However, I was a little nervous about driving a client with her infant (
=
as they can cause quite a distraction in the back seat, usually by =
crying) 20 miles one way to an appointment. I decided I needed to be =
brave and "just do it." Everything was fine until the baby decided to =
climb out of his car seat. He had never done this before and was =
probably just waiting for me, right? So I pulled into a parking lot off
=
of a major highway. The mom was able to get the baby strapped back in, =
and I began to drive through the parking lot to get back on the highway.
=
We were only 2 minutes from our destination. The next thing I know we =
are stopped behind 2 vehicles, one going my direction, the other going =
the opposite. I tried to wait patiently as I thought they were just =
talking with each other. Then, one man got out of the car and visibly =
had a bag of "white stuff" in it. Then a guy got out of the truck and =
flashed a handful of money. My first thought was "Get the h--- out of =
here." I went to back up and of course there was a car behind me. The =
parking lot was somewhat narrow. I was looking for a way out when my =
client pointed at the man with the bag and shouted, "He's got a gun!" My
=
heart just about jumped out of my chest. The gun was inside the =
waistline of the guy's jeans and was visible when he turned to face us.
=
I did manage to get us out safely, but felt very vulnerable and insecure
=
in protecting my client and her baby because with the hand controls I =
had to slowly do a 3 point turn (those of you who have hand controls =
know just how slow this can be). I keep on thinking that if my legs were
=
working I could have gotten us out of there a lot quicker!=20
I know at least one guy, a passenger in the truck, got a good look at us
=
because when my client pointed at the guy with the gun, the passenger =
was laughing back at us. I can still see his smile. I know it is silly =
to be paranoid, especially since they were callous enough to do the =
"transaction" in broad daylight and only 2 blocks away from the =
sheriff's office. If they were really threatened by us they would have =
done something about it.=20
I did drive to the sheriff's office just to be on the safe side (and =
probably paranoid too), but there was no sign of anyone following us. I
=
tried to keep a brave front up for my client and the baby. We went to =
the appointment and then I took her and her baby back home. On the way,
=
I asked her if she was OK. She just said that those people were stupid =
and she hates stupid people. I have to agree with her.=20
Before leaving my office to take the teen to her appointment, my =
greatest fear was not being able to be responsible enough or able to =
protect my client or her baby. I had fears of the baby running out in =
the parking lot and not being able to grab him/her, ect. Well, it came =
true in a way that I never imagined. After I took the client and baby =
home, I cried all the way to PT hating being trapped in a body that =
doesn't work right. Even more, I hate not feeling safe or being able to
=
protect those that I am in charge of. I had not realized my own =
vulnerability until this afternoon and I absolutely abhor it!=20
How am I to do my job whenever I cannot assure my own safety? How am I =
to protect my teens and babies? Does anyone else feel scared of what =
lurks out there?=20
Carri who is very content to be home right now.
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