A funny situation
Gunny0011(AT)aol.com
Sat, 6 Feb 1999 18:05:04 EST
Hey people;
I spent all day Thursday in bed with no initiative to get out. Friday I
cancel the swim at Easter Seals, but do go to Chiropractor. My left leg is
beet red from the knee down, and hurts like hell. I can hardly stand on it
hurts so bad. I've been to all the Hospitals in the area at one time or
another, and am not satisfied with any, but there is a new facility in
Boardman so I figure, lemme try this. As you may or may not know, I do not
like Doctors or Hospitals. Anyway, I hobble into the waiting room, and an
intake Nurse hands me a form to fill out. I take it and give all the pertinent
information, only for her to come out and say, Mr. Boyle, this is not your
Social Security Number. I hung my head and screamed, oh no, I'm dead. She
didn't think it was funny, so then I take out my wallet and produce seven-
forms of identity of which three have pictures on them. SS nos. are identical
on each and every one of them. I say, hello, is it possible that you may have
transposed some numbers. It seems that she saw the eight as a three and that's
why I didn't sexist, and I did reassure her that my name was not Theresa. I am
now led to the exam room, and am asked if it's necessary that I have this
cane. I said yes, I have Transverse Myelitis, and it's kinda hard to walk
without it. The Attending Physician who was nearby says, what's that?
I looked at the reflection of myself in the towel dispenser and shrugged my
shoulders. I am now asked to disrobe, and lay on the table which I do. The
Doctor comes in and looks at my leg only to tell me I have Cellulitis. They
want blood which I refuse to give and a urine specimen which I will give. I
told the Nurse, I don't think I can stand long enough to get this test done
without leaning on a wall or something cause my leg hurt to put any weight on
it. She said, we can do a pass and catch if you like. OK, what's that? Well,
you urinate and I'll pass the jar under the stream and catch it. I started to
smile. I lean on the wall, and here it comes looking like liquid apple butter.
Later I was informed that I had a UTI also. After four hours I was prescribed
Floxin. I said I already flossed today once. As I was getting dressed, the
Doctor comes in again and said, "What did you say you have?" Another four
hours I sat there explaining what TM is. Soon, the whole ER is sitting there
listening to me. It was a slow night. The ironic thing is, that no one ever
once asked me to produce Medical License, but rest assured that when I left,
there was a group of very educated Medical Practitioners in that building.
Just thought I'd share that with ya.
Gunny