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>From: "Gail Lara" <gail(AT)loop.com>
>To: <tmic-list(AT)eskimo.com>
>Subject: Update
>Date: Sun, 31 Jan 1999 13:45:32 -0800
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>Hi everyone,
>I haven't written in a little while because I was out of town on =
>business.
>=20
>The other night, I finally told my Mom how I made contact with this =
>group and have been talking to people, and getting all sorts of =
>wonderful advice. I put off telling her because I knew she wouldn't be
=
>too happy. She didn't like it and was mainly concerned that I was using
=
>her name in my letters. I know better, and as you all know haven't done
=
>such a thing. She would not like that at all. She let me share with her
=
>some of the things you all said, but she still feels hopeless, and =
>insists that she will never get better. I must say her interest seemed
a =
>little peaked, but not enough to get on the PC and contact you all =
>herself.
>=20
>The next night, my little sister called me crying saying how horrible
it =
>is to live with her and hear her say all these awful things about
dying. =
>My mom just watches TV all day long and gets really mad at what's going
=
>on in the news and lets all that get to her as well. So everything she
=
>says is negative.
>=20
>I've been sharing all of your letters with my father. He called my =
>mothers neurologist, since that is the one doctor she seems the most =
>comfortable with. My Dad told him the state that my mom is in. The =
>doctor called my mom later that night and spoke with her for about 20 =
>minutes telling her that he wants her to come in so they can try to =
>evaluate another type of treatment. He also suggested her seeing a =
>therapist. She was pretty caught off guard, and apparently kept =
>apologizing to him that we all wasted his time and had him call. They =
>didn't set up a time. She then got in a fight with my Dad and was
really =
>mad at me. I just now talked to her and she told me to stop bothering
my =
>Dad because he has enough pressure and to basically butt out and leave
=
>her alone, since she doesn't tell me what to do. She says she is not =
>going to see a therapist, and found it really embarrassing that we had
=
>the doctor call her.
>=20
>I have this Wednesday off, and am suppose to spend the day with her. I
=
>talk to my mom at a minimum of twice a day sometimes five times a day.
I =
>do this a lot to remain close and to stay involved in her life and
share =
>mine with hers. =20
>=20
>I am so hurt right now. =20
>=20
>What type of tough action would be safe?=20
>=20
>Should I back off from her for a while. We've been so close since the =
>day I was born. I'm wondering if her first born suddenly started =
>distancing herself from her after 29 years if this would be a type of =
>message. Yet, I don't know if that is a worse thing to do. It wouldn't
=
>be easy for me either, I am so close to her.
>=20
>Or do I go there on Wednesday and fight with her?
>=20
>Any advice?
>=20
>Gail
>
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