Re: Update
AZMAINIAC (AZMAINIAC(AT)prodigy.net)
Sun, 31 Jan 1999 16:09:14 -0800
Gail Lara wrote:
>
> Hi everyone,
> I haven't written in a little while because I was out of town on
> business.
>
> The other night, I finally told my Mom how I made contact with this
> group and have been talking to people, and getting all sorts of
> wonderful advice. I put off telling her because I knew she wouldn't be
> too happy. She didn't like it and was mainly concerned that I was
> using her name in my letters. I know better, and as you all know
> haven't done such a thing. She would not like that at all. She let me
> share with her some of the things you all said, but she still feels
> hopeless, and insists that she will never get better. I must say her
> interest seemed a little peaked, but not enough to get on the PC and
> contact you all herself.
>
> The next night, my little sister called me crying saying how horrible
> it is to live with her and hear her say all these awful things about
> dying. My mom just watches TV all day long and gets really mad at
> what's going on in the news and lets all that get to her as well. So
> everything she says is negative.
>
> I've been sharing all of your letters with my father. He called my
> mothers neurologist, since that is the one doctor she seems the most
> comfortable with. My Dad told him the state that my mom is in. The
> doctor called my mom later that night and spoke with her for about 20
> minutes telling her that he wants her to come in so they can try to
> evaluate another type of treatment. He also suggested her seeing a
> therapist. She was pretty caught off guard, and apparently kept
> apologizing to him that we all wasted his time and had him call. They
> didn't set up a time. She then got in a fight with my Dad and was
> really mad at me. I just now talked to her and she told me to stop
> bothering my Dad because he has enough pressure and to basically butt
> out and leave her alone, since she doesn't tell me what to do. She
> says she is not going to see a therapist, and found it really
> embarrassing that we had the doctor call her.
>
> I have this Wednesday off, and am suppose to spend the day with her. I
> talk to my mom at a minimum of twice a day sometimes five times a day.
> I do this a lot to remain close and to stay involved in her life and
> share mine with hers.
>
> I am so hurt right now.
>
> What type of tough action would be safe?
>
> Should I back off from her for a while. We've been so close since the
> day I was born. I'm wondering if her first born suddenly started
> distancing herself from her after 29 years if this would be a type of
> message. Yet, I don't know if that is a worse thing to do. It wouldn't
> be easy for me either, I am so close to her.
>
> Or do I go there on Wednesday and fight with her?
>
> Any advice?
>
> Gail
Gail,
Is there anyway that you or your father(or both) could meet with a
therapist to get some guidance from a professional on how to deal with
this?
John