If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it immediately. Do
not
>open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase
>everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks
>within 20 feet of your computer.
>
> It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms
your
>ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace
field
>harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will re-calibrate
your
>refrigerator's coolness settings so all your ice cream
>melts and your milk curdles.
>
>It will program your phone autodial to call only your mother-in-law's
number.
>This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all
your
>beer. It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are
expecting
>company. Its radioactive emissions will cause your toe jam
>and bellybutton fuzz (be honest, you have some) to migrate behind your
ears.
>
> It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all
while
>dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their
hotel
>rendezvous to your Visa card. It will cause you to run with scissors
and
>throw things in a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye. It
will
>give you Dutch Elm Disease and Tinea.
>
> It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to
passive
>tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which grossly change
the
>interpretations of key sentences. If the "Badtimes" message is opened
in a
>Windows95 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your
hair
>dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only
>remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, but it will
also
>refill your skim milk with whole milk. It will replace all your
luncheon
meat
>with Spam.
>
> It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume, causing it to
smell
>like dill pickles.
> It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.
It is
>also a rather interesting shade of mauve. These are just a few signs of
>infection.
>
> PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!
>
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