Re: Greetings

Jo Ellen Finkelstein (ghellen(AT)ninenet.com)
Tue, 19 Jan 1999 22:24:29 -0600

Gail Lara wrote:
>
> Hello.
> My name is Gail Lara.
>
> My Mother was diagnosed with Transverse Myelitis during the Spring of last year 1998. That was when the official diagnosis came in. Her
symptoms first began in
>
> She is in a very severe state of depression, and our entire family is a victim of it. We all love her, she has been the most giving woman all
of her life. She
>
> My mother's life is in a chair, and that is how she likes it. She is getting worse and worse. She is in constant pain, and can barely get
around with a walker.
>
> I feel so sorry for my Dad. He would just like for her to go out with him for a drive.........he begs her. She says, "Why do I want to go
out and see other p
>
> She told me tonight that she does not want to get better. The disease has permanently damaged her, and she doesn't want to live this way for
30 more years. She
>
> My Father and I just don't know what to do. We can't club her over the head and drag her in. She would hate us.
>
> She has never been a very outgoing person. She has always been overweight, and is borderline agoraphobic (or probably full-fledged
now). Growing up, we were ne
>
> Does anyone have any input on what to do with a depressed person. Any advice for the family?
>
> Also, does my message get posted somewhere? Where do I go to find reply's? Would someone please e-mail me?
>
> Thank you!
>
> Gail
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------------
> Hello.
> My name is Gail Lara.
>
> My Mother was diagnosed with Transverse Myelitis during the Spring of
> last year 1998. That was when the official diagnosis came in. Her
> symptoms first began in the Spring of 1994.
>
> She is in a very severe state of depression, and our entire family is
> a victim of it. We all love her, she has been the most giving woman
> all of her life. She is 46 years old, married and has 3 daughters. I
> am the oldest and turn 30 this year; the youngest is almost 24. My
> Father loves my Mother very much.
>
> My mother's life is in a chair, and that is how she likes it. She is
> getting worse and worse. She is in constant pain, and can barely get
> around with a walker. The thing that is REALLY bad though is her
> depression.
>
> I feel so sorry for my Dad. He would just like for her to go out
> with him for a drive.........he begs her. She says, "Why do I want to
> go out and see other people living their lives?"
>
> She told me tonight that she does not want to get better. The disease
> has permanently damaged her, and she doesn't want to live this way for
> 30 more years. She does not want to go to therapy or see more doctors.
> She said she always hoped to die of natural causes, and not in a car
> accident. She said it will be better for the family. She said it is
> nicer for us girls to just slowly get used to it, so we won't be
> surprised one day. She says the sooner the better so my Dad can meet
> another woman while he is still young. I saw her this way today, and
> saw how sad my Dad is.
>
> My Father and I just don't know what to do. We can't club her over the
> head and drag her in. She would hate us.
>
> She has never been a very outgoing person. She has always been
> overweight, and is borderline agoraphobic (or probably full-fledged
> now). Growing up, we were never allowed to have friends over, so now
> it is almost as if her disease is an excuse for her to isolate
> herself.
>
> Does anyone have any input on what to do with a depressed person. Any
> advice for the family?
>
> Also, does my message get posted somewhere? Where do I go to find
> reply's? Would someone please e-mail me?
>
> Thank you!
>
> GailHi Gail, Joellen here. You came to the right place for answers and
suggestions, the people here are fantastic! Your mom is severely
depressed ( no surprise there) She needs some help immediately, I am
surprised her General Physician did not make note of this and refer her
to counseling or therapy right away! I know how she feels, when this
happened to me I kept telling people that all I wanted was Dr.
Kevorkians phone number, however for some reason they just wouldn't give
it to me! for now until she agrees to get help all you can do is try to
convince her how much you need her here. You are all in my prayers.
Joellen