Re: Greetings
AZMAINIAC (AZMAINIAC(AT)prodigy.net)
Tue, 19 Jan 1999 07:04:01 -0800
Gail Lara wrote:
>
> Hello.
> My name is Gail Lara.
>
> My Mother was diagnosed with Transverse Myelitis during the Spring of
> last year 1998. That was when the official diagnosis came in. Her
> symptoms first began in the Spring of 1994.
>
> She is in a very severe state of depression, and our entire family is
> a victim of it. We all love her, she has been the most giving woman
> all of her life. She is 46 years old, married and has 3 daughters. I
> am the oldest and turn 30 this year; the youngest is almost 24. My
> Father loves my Mother very much.
>
> My mother's life is in a chair, and that is how she likes it. She is
> getting worse and worse. She is in constant pain, and can barely get
> around with a walker. The thing that is REALLY bad though is her
> depression.
>
> I feel so sorry for my Dad. He would just like for her to go out
> with him for a drive.........he begs her. She says, "Why do I want to
> go out and see other people living their lives?"
>
> She told me tonight that she does not want to get better. The disease
> has permanently damaged her, and she doesn't want to live this way for
> 30 more years. She does not want to go to therapy or see more doctors.
> She said she always hoped to die of natural causes, and not in a car
> accident. She said it will be better for the family. She said it is
> nicer for us girls to just slowly get used to it, so we won't be
> surprised one day. She says the sooner the better so my Dad can meet
> another woman while he is still young. I saw her this way today, and
> saw how sad my Dad is.
>
> My Father and I just don't know what to do. We can't club her over the
> head and drag her in. She would hate us.
>
> She has never been a very outgoing person. She has always been
> overweight, and is borderline agoraphobic (or probably full-fledged
> now). Growing up, we were never allowed to have friends over, so now
> it is almost as if her disease is an excuse for her to isolate
> herself.
>
> Does anyone have any input on what to do with a depressed person. Any
> advice for the family?
>
> Also, does my message get posted somewhere? Where do I go to find
> reply's? Would someone please e-mail me?
>
> Thank you!
>
> Gail
Gail,
Here is a site that will help you learn about depression. I am
manic-depressive(bipolar) and learned a lot from this place.
http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.html
She can be helped. Medication does not cure depression, but brings one
to a state to look at things rationally and learn what to do when things
aren't going right. She also has to learn acceptance of it.
When I was first Dx'ed 4 years ago, I thought I was going to be in the
"nuthouse" the rest of my life. About an hour aftr I was Dx'ed I went
down the hall and into a room. On the wall was a poster listing some
people who have been through depression. The first one lsited was Abe
Lincoln.
There is a list of notable peolple who have been in depression at the
site.
You need to find her something to do to keep her mind busy. Television
will not do it. When I got out of the hospital 27 years ago, I could
walk with Canadian crutches.
The grocery store(in a small town) I worked for would send over the
coupons and I would sort them and send them out. I did many jigsaw
puzzles. I started with the easy ones such as scenery, but then I
progressed. I did one that was a pizza. The hardest part was picking up
a piece that looked like pepperoni and not putting it in my mouth.
the picture of a watch repairman's desk was also a challenge.When I was
hospitalized for bipolar, I did a hexagonal puzzle with 6 fleur-de-lis'
on it.
Since May 1996, I have played over 26,000 games of Free Cell on the
computer.Success has been 51%.
Find some arts and crafts that she will enjoy to keep her mind occupied.
John