About the leave raking, I had a few go rounds with my husband about letting
me do those things that bring me joy. It was hard on him, because he wanted
to protect and he witnessed the aftermath when I over did things and got too
tired. An important thing to work on for me was finding ways to enjoy
things I used to do without exhausting myself. For example, I have a
handicapped placard so that I don't need to walk great distances, and a
scooter to use if an activity is going to involve alot of walking.
Be gentle with each other - this is very hard on both of you. Love can pull
you through it...........Ann
> ----------
> From: NMack92(AT)aol.com[SMTP:NMack92(AT)aol.com]
> Sent: Saturday, November 14, 1998 6:02 PM
> To: Silvercaul(AT)aol.com tmic-list(AT)eskimo.com
> Subject: Re: family support
>
> Gary,
>
> I am pretty new to this, but for what it is worth... Today was a
> beautiful
> fall day. My husband was going to rake leaves, and I was looking forward
> to
> doing what little I could to help. He refused to let me, and it made me
> pretty sad. I understood he did not want me to overdue it or suffer, but
> it
> was something I would have enjoyed and made me feel a bit more normal. I
> was
> willing to take some delayed pain for the happiness it would have given
> me.
>
> My husband is a great guy, but when he told me I was obsessing about it,
> and
> to put it into a compartment and forget about it, I pretty much lost it.
> He
> does not understand that it is hard to forget about it when your symptoms
> reminded you of it all the time. Being new, I am also trying to learn as
> much as I can right now. He also, is the only person I really talk to
> about
> it, so I can understand where he may think that I was being obsessive. We
> talked about it and I think there is a better understanding.
>
> Be there for her, support her, but you need to take care of yourself too.
> Too
> often the caregiver can be overlooked.
>
> Nancy
>
>