We were in MO on vacation when my wife had a bladder problem. It did not
function. We headed home ASAP. The return trip was like a zoo. She hurt,
saw double, sometimes triple. Only with her help was I able to avoid the cars
that she thought were coming at us in our lane.LOL Home and to the ER. Did
some tests, sent us home and told us to see our urologist. Before we got to
the doctor she had no feeling from the breastline down, and could not walk.
Lucky
us, the doctors were able to find that she had TM that day. Eleven days later
she came
home in a wheelchair. Through hard work and a lot of support from people we
knew
and a lot we did not, by way of prayer lists, she is now able to walk, drive
the car and
get around fairly well. The in home doctors, nurses, therapist just did
wonders for
her.
Now comes the hard part. That was two and one half years ago. To say she
is recovered is a total misnomer. She was a very active person, willing to
help, try
almost anything, and the first one to jump up to get something done. The
spirit is
still there but the body will not let her do this anymore. I know that she
probably will never
regain all the strength and motor skills she had before. She has the desire
but not the strength to do what she wants to. She tires very quickly, her
balance is not so good all
the time, but she tries.
As for the support I give, I try to take up the slack as best I can
without making her feel that she can't do this anymore or this is too hard,
let me do it for you. Some people ask how I deal with this? My attitude is
that no one is promised a perfect life forever. We take what has happened and
try to work our way together each day. Some are better than others, and some
are just great. I look around and see lots of people that have it much worse
than we do. I know sometimes it can be very trying. I want to ask why me?
Who knows? I do know that "poor pity me" attitude won't get it, grab ahold of
what you have and move on. Things may never be like they were, but you can't
change that. You can only try to be the best mate possible, and take it one
day at a time. Love does great things for people's heart and soul. It may
seem a little tough now, but with a lot of love and understanding we can make
it bear-able for all concerned. Talk to each other and find the other's
feelings and share yours. Let your mate know that you love them regardless of
their condition, you will be rewarded I am sure.
Best of luck and hang in there. Frank
Gary, if you want to talk to him directly, his e-mail address is:
Janmhargr(AT)aol.com