> Hi, everyone!!
> I have been quite unresponsive, but only due to mere exhaustion, not out of a
> lack of caring. You all have been in my thoughts and prayers. Since school is
> in back in session,I have not had an ounce of energy left to type mail or
> respond. Tonight is not much better, but I needed a break from grading papers.
> I just love my fourth graders and we have had a very productive week. They
> are wonderful to me too! I think I'll make it this year, if I go one day at a
> time. School followed by PT, followed by supper, chores, then plans and
> grading papers seems about to sink me. But prayer is my life jacket and I'm
> still afloat!!!
> If you don't mind I wanted to vent a few frustrations. After reading about
> your frustrations due to the parking situation, with well people taking
> spaces and not so well people being questioned, It reminds me of MY pet
> peeve: the handicapped bathroom stall!!
> Being very self-conscious, I would never create a scene when lady friends
> enter a handicapped stall with their five children and yack while each child,
> followed by the 2 adults have their "turn." Often, all regular stalls are open
> when this occurs and I stand there with my cane waiting, trying not to have an
> accident, while the mother asks the child ( who sits on the toilet seat,
> swinging her feet, and singing "Merrily We Roll Along") "Sweetie, are you
> done yet??? Hurry, cuz sister and cousin Sue Sue needs a turn too! "(And the
> song continues)
> I give up and with great difficulty use a "regular" stall or have an
> accident) Should I resort to standing with moist puppy dog eyes, making my
> most pitiful "handicapped " look, trying to impart some guilt, they probably
> would brush by, and, perhaps, if I were really lucky, I'd hear the
> sympathetic words:" Lady- did ya get soap in your eyes?? Ya need to be
> carefull not to turn the water on so hard!!!! ( Ha,ha, ha!!!)
> One beef down, Two to go!!!
> Last week I arrived at PT and was met at the door with" Karen, your insurance
> will not pay for more visits as it intended. They reviewed your diagnosis and
> felt that therapy would NOT be of any further use, since recovery is unlikely.
> They felt any improvement was merely based on subjective opinion, not on
> fact."
> How negative, Right??? I had them call my neuro, who was back & forth between
> the ins. co. and the PT place and 45 minutes later, they approved 8 more
> visits, but that will be all. They said I needed to save the days left (I have
> 60 per year and had used 35) for WHEN not IF I fell and may need PT to get
> over the resulting damage!!! I feel that if I have PT, I may PREVENT falls!
> Can you believe it?? You probably can.
> Last, but not least:
> I went to a convention last Saturday that was district wide. It was held in a
> very large church that had rented its facility. They had a general session on
> the ground floor and then offered 80 workshops. The titles which appealed to
> me had second floor classrooms. When I went to the information desk, and
> inquired as to where the elevators were, I was told that there were none. I
> was astonished. I can do a small amount of stairs, but these were steep and
> wound up and around a few times. I could not make it! I hung around some of
> the day, downstairs and noticed several folks with canes, crutches,
> wheelchairs and a few motor seats or whatever you call them stuck in the
> ground floor or having to go to one of only four offered on the bottom floor!
> I did not say anything, but it was a disappointment. I didn't leave, because
> it had been paid for, but it was a waste.
>
> Oh yeah- one more gripe, and I may finally shut up!!!! I went to
> Barnes and Noble to pick up a book I had ordered for school. Usually I have no
> problem getting inside because usually the store is so busy that I arrive at
> the same time as someone else and end up following them in. On this day, it
> was rainy, so I arrived at the door alone, and to my shock, I realized I was
> too weak to open the door. I tried for five minutes, pushing my 117 pounds
> against it with all my might- nothing! I never knew it was that difficult! I
> waited 10 more minutes and noone came along, so I proceeded to my car and went
> home.
> Well, guys, I guess It's hitting me that I really can't do some things, and
> that's a bit tough. But, Like I said, I'm still afloat. My heart goes out to
> folks each time they sign on as 'new' people and to the veterans who go before
> me who know what it's like to deal with this long term problem with such
> courage. I know days are difficult for you. too, and yet you keep on giving-
> especially to the friends here on the list. Thanks, everybody for listening
> Love, Mushroo (Karen)
Karen,
It's really hard sometimes and sometimes all at once. Here's one for you I like by
Harold Kushner --
People who pray for miracles usually don't get miracles.. But people who pray for
courage, for strength to bear the unbearable, for the grace to remember what they
have left inside of what they have lost, very often find their prayers answered...
Their prayers helped them tap hidden reserves of faith and courage which were not
available ot them before.
Hang in there, better days are coming --- we must believe that.
My best to you, Deborah