Thank you so much for your words of encouragement, thoughts, and prayers
concerning my dad's illness. They all meant so much to me. We just got back
from Texas this morning. They took him off the ventilator yesterday and today
he was taken out of ICU and things seem to be really going well. He was
originally scheduled to get out of the hospital this last week-end, before
this last crisis, and I don't know if this will set him back as far as
physical therapy, etc. I felt badly that the day he could finally talk, when
they took the respirator out, was the day we left, but as we visited him he
was able to communicate by writing. I joked that that was the most writing I
had from him in years! I also felt bad that my boys couldn't see him -- they
were too young to go into ICU -- but I understand the nurse's point that there
are various bacteria and such there and kids would be more susceptible. I
wondered if we made a mistake and should've gone this week-end rather than
last week-end so we could talk and visit with him more and the kids could see
him, but too late for that now. It's always hard to know when a crisis comes
just what to do. We want to try to go again later, when he's out. His over-all
prognosis is poor -- congestive heart failure and lung and colon cancer that
they can't treat because of his heart and an expectancy of maybe 6-15 months
to live. But, no one can ever accurately say how long anyone's life will last.
It is all in God's hands.
We did also have a chance to give moral support to my brother and mom who are
there (my parents are divorced but still keep in touch -- kind of like old
family friends) and had numerous discussions about the "what ifs" and we feel
like we're all on the same page.
As for me personally, urinary problems on the trip up were a nightmare. I was
thinking this may well be my last road trip! But on the way back it was
better. My son and I caught some kind of bug while there -- his caused
vomiting, mine affected the other end...and I had one bowel accident in route
to the hospital to visit Dad and had to go back to my mom's. Besides being
VERY embarassing, I also feared further loss of control of those muscles, but
I really think the problem was related more to the diarhea (sp?). I stayed on
anti-diarrhea med. all the way home!! I may be stopped up for a week now.
Everything else TM-related seemed to be okay -- a little increase in numbness,
but not severely. Of course, the next day or two may see a flare-up -- it
seems that usually happens after a time of stress.
Although I have had TM-related urinary problems for months, I really think it
is made worse by anxiety. I do experience urgency, frequency, and retention
anyway, but there are times at home I feel the need to go but can wait, or
feel like I really need to go while en route to a place, but when I get there
the need subsides. I really think the anxiety of knowing I don't have bathroom
facilties readily available makes it worse.
Another thought that is not directly TM-related but is related to health in
general: I think you know from previous posts that I am against assisted
suicide, but this week-end I found even more reasons why a person should not
have the attitude that "If I'm going to die anyway I may as well end it now."
My dad's serious illness has made my brother's dormant sense of responsibility
kick in as well as rekindling his love and care for my dad. They have had a
stormy relationship over the years and often went for ages without contacting
each other. But all of this is having a healing effect on their relationship.
And one other sister who has not had a relationship with my dad for years (a
long story) wanted to go see him so he would not go to his grave thinking she
hated him. How much better for these things to arise in hearts and have a
chance to be dealt with before rather than after the funeral. The Lord can
bring good even out of prolonged terminal illnesses.
Thank you all again!!!!!!!!!
Barbara H.