Re: TM & I
John Godfrey (djgodfrey(AT)worldnet.att.net)
Fri, 20 Mar 1998 16:08:40 -0800
Lindstrom, Ann wrote:
>
> Dave - I agree. I can still walk, but also went through definite
> grieving about the loss of the healthy person I used to be. When I hear
> some one talking about a good place to hike, or a great place to dance,
> I still feel momentary pain realizing that I can no longer enjoy some of
> the great pleasures of former years.
>
> Chisti - Before I was finally diagnosed with myelitis, the doctors were
> fairly convinced that I had metastized breast cancer. The prospects
> were very dim. I needed people you could stand to hear my pain, and not
> try to cheer me up.
>
> Another lesson learned from fighting breast cancer....while a positive
> attitude is important, we tend to go over board to the extent that the
> patient can start to think that his illness is his fault because he is
> not positive enough. Some thing to think about.
>
> If your brother can not pull out of the anger/depression after awhile,
> you may need to consider psychiatric help. Seeing someone for a while
> and anti-depressants did me a world of good.
>
> I do believe that the people who love and care for us often have a
> harder row to hoe than the patient. I am forever grateful and amazed at
> my husband's stamina and grace during all my problems. Hang in there -
> Ann
> > ----------
> > From: D.C. Jones[SMTP:jones(AT)tdl.com]
> > Sent: Friday, March 20, 1998 11:34 AM
> > To: WREZN8R
> > Cc: FHargr3092(AT)aol.com swimmerh(AT)pacbell.net tmic-list(AT)eskimo.com
> > Subject: Re: TM & I
> >
> > Christi:
> >
> > Something need to understand about Greg. Greg is in mourning, someone
> > has died, that someone is Greg. He needs time to feel bad, it is
> > normal
> > to feel really awful, depressed and angry. Six weeks is nothing at
> > all,
> > nothing!! It can take six years before he feels anything close to
> > what
> > he was before. Do not expect him, ask or wonder out load as to why he
> > doesn't adopt a more up countenance. He obviously knows you don't
> > understand and if you feel you do and voice it to him he will get
> > angry.
> > Let him be angry, let him feel bad all he needs is someone to listen
> > when he is ready to talk. You can not force him to open up, it's his
> > problem and he knows it. He has to have time and that is that.
> >
> > Davej
> >
I agree, we all have to go at our own pace. I really resented everyone
telling me how to fell and how to act about this whole mess. I
eventually came to the same conculsion on my own. It somehow sounds
better when we say it ourselves and we aren't quite as defensive
about it. As hard as it for us to go through this I think in some
ways it's harder on our loved ones because they feel totally helpless.
Diana