> I would like to talk
> about the psychological aspects.
Nora,
I know you were asking about psychological aspects before onset of TM:
I don't remember having anything stressful or traumatic happening just before
TM, but, of course, we've all had psychological aspects to deal with since TM.
I am a Christian, and I could not make it without relying heavily on God's
Word. Especially in the early days of TM, so often in my daily Bible reading
there would be a verse that specifically applied to my situation. That was a
very special time of feeling close to the Lord and knowing I was cared for.
Since then I've had to struggle with knowing God could heal me and wondering
why He hasn't/doesn't. The book I recommended on the tmic list a few days ago,
"When God Weeps, helped a lot in that regard.
Other psychological aspects have to do with looking fairly "normal," so often
people don't realize I have ongoing problems, yet feeling I'll be regarded as
a hypochondiac if I talk too much about how I feel physically. I've also had a
problem with panic attacks. That, actually, started several years ago (pre-TM)
after the birth of my second child. I was in a real slump for a while and
within two years was diagnosed with thyroid problems and low blood sugar. I've
wondered if all of that was connected somehow. Since TM, I think those
reactions (panic attacks) are triggered in situations where I feel nervous and
unsure of myself or when symptoms flare up (an increase in numbness etc.) and
I'm afraid of having another TM attack or worse. I deal with those by
sometimes just letting the moment pass and reassuring myself that everything
is fine, or often by quoting Scripture, such as Phil 4: 6-7: "Be careful for
nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let
your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all
understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus," and
Isa. 41:10: "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy
God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee
with the right hand of my righteousness," and reminding myself I am in His
care. I read a really good book by Jan Dravecky (wife of baseball pitcher Dave
Dravecky, who lost an arm to cancer) in which she describes her experiences
with panic attacks and depression during her husband's illness which was a
help to me.
And I think we all struggle with psychological aspects such as plain weariness
of a long-term physical problem, being "up" sometimes with greatfulness for
what we have and "down" another time with sadness for what we've lost, and
fear....fear that we might not recover, that we'll get worse in some way, that
if I'm having trouble now at age 40, what will I be like at age 60?, etc. For
me, Scripture like the ones mentioned above and so many others, help....not
just a benign quoting of them, like a mantra, but an active exercise of faith.
Barbara
John 17: 3 And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true
God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.