Geoff Treglown

Geoff Treglown recently passed away.  Geoff was such a kind, caring, and loyal friend.  I don’t remember the details as to how or when we met, but Geoff must have contacted me after he found the TMA on the internet.  That’s the way I meet most people in the TMA community; particularly when they don’t live in the United States.  Geoff had TM and he also had Parkinson’s disease.  Geoff was the consummate British gentleman.  In our telephone conversations and our emails, Geoff was always concise and to the point.  I don’t know whether Geoff found my lengthy emails and long conversations entertaining or bewildering; he was always too polite for me to tell.  Geoff was such a good man.  Geoff described his life to me in one of our hundreds of email exchanges:

I am a bachelor whose parents and only (much older) brother all died many years ago. In fact the only relations I have are two cousins who live at the opposite end of the country. We exchange Christmas cards and only ever meet when there is a funeral! I am very content with my lot. I have retired (5 years ago) to a very beautiful part of the country after 37 years as a teacher. It is a lovely backwater with negligible crime or problems; England pre 940. A sizeable proportion of the village’s population (a third?) are retired off-comers, like myself. Everything is done in a very relaxed manner.  I am 65 and usually the youngest at any meeting.  Before that I lived just outside Oxford and taught at a fee paying boarding school, Radley College, at various times being i/c of chemistry, science and IT). 

In 2000 Geoff volunteered to be the TMA support group leader for the UK and to handle all of the mailings to the UK.  As the UK represents the largest number of TMA members outside of the US, this was an enormous help to us and also a tremendous savings in postage.  Geoff mailed the newsletters and journals and he also mailed the new member packets that are sent to people when they sign up for TMA membership.  At first, I sent boxes of materials to Geoff for the mailings.  Then Geoff found Lew Grey who was able to help Geoff with the printing of the materials.  So, Geoff and Lew were able to take over the entire printing and mailing operation.  Also, Geoff volunteered to take over the mailings for all of our members in Europe.  I know that Geoff paid for a lot of the materials and the postage out of pocket.  He never talked about it or asked for recognition for it; Geoff was so generous and he was very private and quiet about his generosity.  Whenever Geoff created a new membership packet, he would send me one so  I would have a sample of what he was sending out.  And I always remarked to Geoff that what he was sending to our members looked better than what I was sending – and it did!  Geoff was a perfectionist and a professional; even in his volunteer work.  Geoff was so dedicated to his work for the TMA.

Geoff made himself available to so many people across the UK and Europe.  I know that Geoff helped so many people by listening to their issues, by offering excellent guidance and information and by sharing his own experiences.  Geoff was there to help people through their most challenging experiences. 

Ann Moran held a wonderful support group meeting in Ireland and Dr. Kerr and Chitra Krishnan attended and made a presentation to our members.  Geoff was able to attend the meeting in Ireland.  I saw Dr. Kerr just before he left for Ireland and I told him all about Geoff and asked him to be sure to find Geoff; I told Dr. Kerr what an enormous contribution Geoff was making to the TMA community.  I never had the opportunity to meet Geoff face to face.  I am so pleased that Dr. Kerr and Chitra were able to meet him. 

Geoff had experienced a fall and was in and out of hospitals for months.  It was such a difficult and frustrating time for him.  Lew and Margaret were able to stay in touch with him by phone, but the rest of his friends had a difficult time communicating with him.  We all sent Geoff cards so that he knew we were thinking of him.  And so, that’s how it was.  I received a phone call from Margaret, our support group leader in Scotland, and she gave me the very bad news about Geoff’s passing.  I just stood in my kitchen and cried.  I felt so helpless and empty.  What a horrible loss.

My heart is just totally broken. 

I had mailed Geoff a card about a week and a half before he died.  Margaret had phoned Geoff and a friend told Margaret that my card was on his bed stand and that she had read it to him.  I at least felt relieved that Geoff knew that he was in my thoughts and in my heart; it helped me to know that he knew just how much I cared for him. 

I am so grateful that Lew (our support group leader in the UK) and Federica (our support group leader in Italy) were able to attend Geoff’s memorial service and represent all of us from the TMA community who were not able to be there. 

Geoff helped so many people over the years, as a teacher and in all of the wonderful work he did for the TMA.  Geoff is going to be missed so much by everyone who knew him and cared for him.  He made such a difference in so many people’s lives, and especially mine. 

We love you, Geoff.
Sandy

Our memories of Geoff should serve as a blessing for all of us.

From Margaret Shearer, Transverse Myelitis Scotland Support Group Leader

Geoff was such a special person and a great ambassador for the TMA over this side of the pond.  A Perfect English Gentleman! Our group benefited greatly from his continuous support and advice and I will miss him so much.  I will miss my frequent telephone conversations with him.

My first call with Geoff was when I was in Mount Sinai Hospital in Florida in 2002; flat on my back and diagnosed with TM.  He told me he would keep in contact with me and call me as soon as I arrived back home in Scotland.  It took me three months to get back and he called me within two days and offered his support. I have had it ever since! 

A year later I met Geoff in Manchester at his group meeting.  I also met Margaret and Sandy Smith who, like me, had travelled from Scotland; none of us having met another person with TM.  From that meeting and with the support of Geoff, Sandy Siegel and Jim Lubin, the Transverse Myelitis Scotland Support Group was started in 2003.  We have continued to flourish with Geoff’s support and to grow to over 45 members in 2008.

In 2004 I was asked by Geoff to contact Sally Rodohan in London as she was interested in starting up a support group in the city.  From those conversations, the TMS was later formed.  Geoff was inspirational in assisting me with setting up the Scotland Support group.  Geoff’s and my conversations with Sally over several months helped to start up the London Group.  The rest is the history that Geoff should always be remembered for by all TMers in UK and Europe as the TMA UK Coordinator. 

What a legacy to leave!  He will be sadly missed by all who had the privilege to have been in his presence or in contact with him.

People like Geoff are very special and can never be replaced,
But he will be remembered for the rich full life he led,
For the things he accomplished throughout the years,
For the times he made us laugh and comforted us when we were upset,
For his thoughtfulness, warmth and unselfishness,
But he will especially be remembered for making such a positive difference in so many people’s lives.
Wonderful memories like these make him a special person.
 ---------------------------
The lyrics in the song by Anne Murray (Canadian Folk Singer) reflect my thoughts and feelings about Geoff; he was such an inspiration to me when I was so ill and has continued to be over these last years.

 Anne Murray - You Needed Me
I cried a tear
You wiped it dry
I was confused
You cleared my mind
I sold my soul
You bought it back for me
And held me up and gave me dignity
Somehow you needed me.

You gave me strength
To stand alone again
To face the world
Out on my own again
You put me high upon a pedestal
So high that I could almost see eternity

And I can't believe it’s you I can't believe it's true
I needed you and you were there
And I'll never leave, why should I leave
I'd be a fool
‘Cause I’ve finally found someone who really cares

You held my hand
When it was cold
When I was lost
You took me home
You gave me hope
When I was at the end
And turned my lies
Back into truth again
You even called me friend

Yes Geoff you were my friend and I will miss you so much.
Love,
Margaret

From Jane Batho, Member of the TM Scotland Support Group

I had spoken to Geoff a few times on the phone.  I once had the opportunity to see him on my way south.  We had lunch together.  Geoff was such an easy person to speak to; the kind you felt you had known all your life.  No one can replace Geoff - he was one of a kind.  Every time I visit the Lake District, I will think of him with fond memories.

From Ursula Mauro, TM Support Group Leader, Germany

We didn’t have much time to get to know each other.  When the UK TM Society decided to take the task of sending the TMA New Member Packets and the newsletters and journals to all of Europe in 2006, our email conversations started.  Geoff was a much bigger help for me than I for him. He was such a polite, smart and friendly gentleman and he always was ready to help.  He set priorities and always tried to find easy and reasonable solutions.  He never pressured me and he gave me the feeling of being important and helpful although I often was behind on many of my duties.  And he always answered my emails; I never take this for granted.

I already missed him during the time of his last long stay in hospital.  And I regret very much that I couldn’t call him, because the hospital wouldn’t allow calls from outside of UK.   But I was able to send him postcards.  My last one arrived two days before his death.

I’m thankful that I had the chance to get to know Geoff.  I’ll miss the good and valuable cooperation and help from him.  I will miss him in so many different ways and I know many others will miss him too!