Kimm Auxier

As I sit down to write this article, I am swarmed with the myriad of emotions that overcame me during my pregnancy with my fourth child.  I was sitting in a chair reading the information packet that Holt (an adoption agency) had sent me in the mail when I realized that I was unusually tired, had missed my cycle and was experiencing all the things that go along with being pregnant.  I remember taking a pregnancy test and looking at the results totally stunned.  That was six years ago, and of course, I would not change any of it for the world.  G-d truly knew what a beautiful plan He had in store for our family.

My TM had actually gone into what I refer to as the “dormant stage.”  I tried extremely hard to focus on the positive and enjoy the moments.  I felt fantastic! My legs were not like noodles, my neuropathy was gone and the fatigue that comes with TM was gone.  I truly had no symptoms whatsoever.  I feel compelled to say that maybe my case was extremely unusual, but the child that you create is such a spectacular gift that I truly believe it is well worth the risk. My network of support was also something that I had and without my family and friends it would have been a trying time.

During the delivery of Elijah, I struggled with weakness in my legs.  I had delivered my third child naturally and wanted to experience this again.  My body had other things in mind.  So, I ended up in the bed, epidural and smiles.  Five hours later, a baby boy, tears of happiness and no memories of TM.

Within six weeks of my delivery, my weakness started to creep in and the TM fatigue rolled over me.  For the next month, I struggled with the daunting task of raising a new baby and raising myself out of bed.  I did get through it and my TM comes and goes.  I am always amazed by the power I feel in strong legs, strong body and strong mind.  I know that my TM has been a blessing for me.  That may sound strange to many of you, but it has taught me to rejoice in the healthy body I currently am experiencing.

If any of you are currently thinking about getting pregnant, are pregnant or have new babies and are struggling, please know that I am just one person telling her story, and I am here to tell you that TM will always create ups and downs in your lives, but the excitement that you can personally create in your own lives is well worth the everyday struggle.  Be strong because no matter where you are, you are touching people in a positive way with your TM!